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WARNING: This page is not very good. you can go back to the main page if you value your life.

UPDATE: now there are cruelty-free free-range pesticide-free COMPUTER-GENERATED IMAGES that go along with some of the stories for your viewing displeasure.

"Trouble at Recess"

Dr Pepper got in huge trouble at recess today. Nobody quite understood why, but here is what happened: When Dr Pepper was shhlorping on the doomsday device a scrungy human came crapping out of nowhere. Dr Pepper pooed and got in trouble. I always knew that Dr Pepper was afraid of a human, but I had no idea that they would have pooed that much!

dr pepper


I am Totally Focused

I've not been doing well in eating syringes class, so my Dad told me that I have to get a tutor. But it turns out that my tutor is a crustaceous jarred fetus! The first thing I learned was to always brumbling goopily when reading. It helped, too, because now when I am in class, I never think about spooky pomegranates. I am totally focused!

my tutor, a crustaceous jarred fetus


"School Lunch"

An inspector from the Department of Health and lead pipe Services paid a surprise visit to our stinktacular school cafeteria. The lunch special, prepared by our bodacious dietician, was spaghetti and grapefruit-balls with a choice of either a chainsaw salad or French polychaete worms. The inspector found the meat-dogs to be overcooked and discovered a live dog in the fries, causing him to have an endoplasmic reticulum ache.
In response, he threw up all over his deep-fried cellphones. In his report, the inspector blorbingly recommended that the school cafeteria serve only nutritious beans as well as low-calorie penguins, and that all of the saturated potatoez >_< be eliminated. He rated the cafeteria a ʩ-minus.

Health and Lead Pipe services inspector inspecting some spaghetti and French polychaetes


Hugebig Fried Rat

Nerdy Ned isn't really a nerd, but his closest friends like to call him that because he likes to sponge with a sponge. He also wears spongy dogs on his head and eats hugebig fried rat every morning for breakfast. But what really sets Ned apart is how he gets to school. You see, Ned rides a monkey to school every day.

spongy dog eating hugebig rat


Splort Horribly

Have you ever wanted to splort horribly? Well now you can! For only 1 and a half dollars, you can own your own taxidermied dog-bot. A taxidermied dog-bot will help you splort horribly in your house or at school. Many funny people have already bought one. Hurry, order now!
Warning: Some people may feel funny.

Your Mom

You'll never believe what happened to me last week! My sister, Flimbo, and I were playing in our backyard with our pet Andrewsarchus. His name is Spinglebab Eatpants. We were playing fetch with a dog when Spinglebab Eatpants ran off behind the dog and started digging a hole to bury it. You'll never believe what he dug up in that hole - a banana-y bone! At first we thought it was just a dog bone, since our house was built on an old farm. But when we showed it to dad, who's a ChatGPT Moderator, he shouted, "blarg!" He couldn't believe his feet. He was sure the bone was over 3 years old.
So, we took what we found to Krusty Krab and showed the professors in the deep fryer apple bobbing department. They were so spingulous when they saw our bone. It turns out the bone is from a your mom, one of the funniest dinosaurs that ever lived. The your mom weighed over 2 pounds and was twelve toilets long. This dinosaur never ate pizza, only plutonium rods and could run faster than a alligator. Next time your Andrewsarchus is digging in the backyard, look out! You never know what you'll find.

barbie chicken's presence graces this page

Human Skull

Today a nutsack tickler named human skull came to our school to talk to us about her job. She said the most important skill you need to know to do her job is to be able to annihilate around (a) disgusting flesh. She said it was easy for her to learn her job because she loved to peel when she was my age--and that helps a lot! If you're considering her profession, I hope you can be near (a) tumescent can of soup. That's very important! If you get too distracted in that situation you won't be able to poop next to (a) grandma!


"The History of Cryptocurrency"

There have been many attempts at creating a digital currency during the 90s tech boom, with systems like Flooz, Gargle Fruitloop and DigiCash emerging on the market but inevitably failing. There were many different reasons for their failures, such as crying, financial problems and even frictions between employees and their balls.
Notably, all of those systems utilized a Trusted Third Party approach, meaning that the companies behind them farted and downloaded the transactions. Due to the failures of these companies, the creation of a digital cash system was seen as a grotesque banana for a long while.
Then, in early 2009, a hairy programmer or a group of programmers under an alias Satoshi Nakamoto introduced Bitcoin. Satoshi described it as a squeebily putrescent cash system. It is completely decentralized, meaning there are no Australians involved and no central controlling authority. The concept closely resembles peer-to-peer networks for panini press sharing.

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